From 1985 to 2015: Back to the Future 30th Birthday Party

Let's time travel back to January, when I celebrated my 30th birthday. If you do the math, that would mean I was born in 1985. What else happened in 2015 and 1985? Doc Brown built a time machine in 1985, and used it to bring Marty to 2015, of course.

(PS: the real Back to the Future Day (the day they arrive in 2015) is coming up on October 21.)

I've actually had the idea of a Back to the Future 30th birthday party since sometime in college when I realized the 1985/2015 connection, so I was really excited about it and put waaay more time into planning and making decor than it really warranted. But I really like the final results (maybe we'll make a Back to the Future themed nursery when the time comes, so as to get more use out of them?), and had a blast making the props and having the party.

Costumes

Abe and I dressed, sort of - abstract interpretations of, maybe? - as Doc Brown and Marty, in their 2015 apparel.

Doc Brown: Loudly patterned (pink checkered was as loud as Abe has in his wardrobe) button up shirt, translucent tie, metallic sunglasses.

Marty: Iridescent cap, maroon tee shirt, inside out jeans (and of course, keep your hoverboard handy!)

"A" Game Night

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Inspired by this post on Angela's SF Road Warrior, Abe and I decided to start an alliterative theme to our game nights (we end up hosting about 4 - 6 game nights each year, though I often intend to have them even more often, like monthly). I don't think we'll end up going through them strictly in order, but we did start at the beginning, hosting our A game night this weekend.

Games

We played Apples to Apples - one I'm sure most of you are familiar with, and is a fairly popular staple at our games nights both that we host and attend.

We also played Anomia, a game we bought recently. It has a deceptively simple concept: each card shows a noun and a symbol. As players draw cards, if the symbol matches another card, they have to shout out an example of the noun on the other player's card, before the player names an example of the noun on their card. "Anomia" means the inability to name objects - it's amazing how hard it can be as you're quickly trying to see the matching cards, process what it says, etc. It ends up being a highly energetic and entertaining game.

Food

The above photo shows the remnants after - didn't have a chance to take one before, plus our wonderful guests brought some of the items!

Angel hair pasta with 'Auliflower Alfredo sauce (recipe)
Arugula and Acorn squash salad (recipe)
Anakin's Asparagus (from Vegan Fusion)
Apples and Almond butter
Artichoke dip and Almond crackers
Avocados
Agave-glazed pecans (made by Karey)
Avocados
Aged godua
Apple pie Ala mode with Almond milk-based ice cream
Almond joy bar cake (from Vegan Junk Food) (made by Karey)
Apple Ale
Apple cider - sparkling
Apple cider - hot, spiced
Aloe juice
Acai juice

It was a lot of fun to come up with ideas for the theme, and ended up having some more variation in food and games than our usual standbys!

Why Are We Tying Up the Cat?

There was a cat who lived in the monastery, and made noise and caused distractions during evening meditation. To keep the cat calm and prevent it from disrupting meditation, the teacher decided to tie the cat to a pole in the middle of the sanctuary. This worked and the practice continued, with the cat always being tied to the pole before meditation began.

Years passed, and the teacher died. They continued to tie the cat to the pole during meditation. Later, the cat also died. They couldn't start meditation without tying a cat to the pole! So they brought another cat to the monastery, and tied it to the pole to begin meditation. 

Centuries later, descendants of the teacher wrote scholar treatises about the spiritual significance of tying up a cat for meditation practice.

 - a Buddhist parable

As you've probably inferred from what I've said about weddings, I believe that as a society we do a a lot of tying up the cat while following wedding traditions. And when it comes to weddings, in particular, blindly following traditions can not only not actually be meaningful, but actually cause harm by promoting the infrastructure that developed the tradition in the first place.

There are other times when there may not such a negative history related to the tradition, but I still find it odd that we continue to uphold things as important rituals. I've never been one to really enjoy anything ceremonial. Maybe if there were more rituals involved in our lives, beyond a scattered few important events, the sense of ritual and meaning would feel more important, but as it is they just seem like antiquated remnants of a now-irrelevant time.

For example, yesterday I was at the memorial service for my great-aunt who recently passed away. Now, part of the rituals for her included a Catholic mass, since she was Catholic. And while I certainly find some of the rites there odd (such as sprinkling holy water), I understand they're based on deep-held religious beliefs. Whether or not I think the underlying belief is reasonable or true, those who follow it doe indeed have a rationale for doing it that goes deeper than "we've always done it this way". Her daughter and their community believe the blessings and other rituals over her body will ensure that her soul makes it to heaven, so it's understandable that they partake in those rituals for that expected result.

But after mass we had a graveside service. And we stood in front of the embalmed body, in a sturdy casket. We saw the coffin be lowered into the ground - that aspect deeply affected her daughter, and that makes sense to me, to watch the body literally be removed from our sight, is to help process the person leaving our life. But it was not just being lowered into the ground, but lowered into a vault in the ground; the lid to the vault was sitting next to the gravesite. Why put the body in a concrete vault? Why put it in a coffin? Why embalm it?

I don't think that even Catholics believe at this point that an intact body is required in order to fulfill any spiritual expectations. So why are we so attached to preserving the body? What psychological, emotional, or spiritual healing is aided by preventing the body from rejoining the earth? I imagine there were at one time practical reasons, but I can't imagine they could be rationally upheld today. We've simply taking up resources to literally preserve bodies that no longer serve a purpose. 

How do you feel about rituals and ceremonies? What makes them meaningful to you?

The Mail Slot

Every place I've lived in has had set of locked mailboxes for receiving mail. Some such setups more or less remote from my actual living quarters, but always somewhere that required me to deliberately go to the mailbox, without prior knowledge of whether there was actually something there, to see if there was new mail. 

Much of the time, this felt like quite a nuisance. Seriously, I have to walk the whole 30 feet across the parking lot to the mailbox, and the card/magazine/whatever might not even be there?

How do bloggers who routinely use GIFs continue to
write the rest of their post?! So distracting.

Until our current apartment, which is a townhouse setup. I imagine at least partly because every unit has a ground floor entry way, the mail setup isn't locked boxes, but mail slots in the front doors. At first, this seemed pretty awesome! No walking out to the mailbox (especially in the rain!), no extra key on my keychain (I take an excessive amount of pride in my minimalist keychain). The mail comes right into my house!

But it didn't take too long to realize the downside: the mail comes right into my house.

The multi-page coupon mailers that drift apart and spreads out its lightweight sheets over a 3 foot radius. The business internet service ads that come to our residential address for "current business owner", by a company that when I called had no comprehension of how to remove me from a mailing list without providing a related (non-existent) account number. The stupid insurance company that apparently bought information from the marriage license department and labels their envelope as if it's from the government agency, and actually  successfully faked me out the first time. 

All these items that piss me off, arrive in my home where I can't help but see them. I can't just choose to not check the mail today; they're imposed upon me regardless. (I do, of course, take steps to get off mailing lists, but it doesn't always work, and even when it does it takes time and more items are mailed in the interim.)

Even the wanted mail items arrive directly in my home. And I'm not sure that's a good thing either. Where's the suspense? Where's the building excitement? When we were receiving wedding cards, it was a pleasant surprise to come home and see it. If I was in a good mood, it made it even better; if I was in a bad mood, it might turn around. Or if I'm in a bad mood I might fail to fully appreciate what would otherwise be quite enjoyable.

I think there's something to be said for preparing yourself even for a pleasant surprise, for walking to the mailbox after a frustrating day with anticipation building and wondering if there will be something there to lift your spirits. There might be benefit in having the option to only bring the paper intruders - both good or bad - into your home when you've deliberately chosen to, not whenever they happen to arrive.

Hera!

We adopted a new kitty! Meet Hera: 

Abe and I have been thinking about getting a second cat since we moved in together (personally, I prefer having a 1:1 cat:human ratio), but we holding off on doing so until we weren't planning any more nights out of town for the summer.

After Aluminum Man last weekend, we don't have any more trips planned in the near future, so once we got back, on Sunday we headed to the Oregon Humane Society to see who was there. (I adopted Imogene from the Cat Adoption Team, but a friend gave us a certificate for a discounted adoption fee at OHS, and their location is slightly closer to us, for a marginally less harrowing car ride home.)

We went in thinking we'd like to find a kitten, but it was also important to adopt a female cat (I had some bad experiences growing up with male cats who sprayed). There weren't very many kittens there, but we did visit with one male 5-month-old. Very cute, but also very active. Definitely had an "oh, kitten!" moment, but I have no doubt any one else who considers him will have that moment as well and he'll easily find a home. 

Hera was quite timid at the shelter, trying to hide in a high corner in one of the colony rooms. She's about 1 year old, a stray cat someone was feeding and then surrendered to OHS. She's fairly small, I suspect she still has some growing to do to catch up with her ears and whiskers, and a little bit of kitten playfulness once she got more comfortable. :)

Not hiding!

When I adopted Imogene she was about three years old; although it would be nice to enjoy more of the kitten experience, I also like knowing that I'm bringing a home to slightly older cats who would likely have a harder time finding a willing family. 

Hera is currently staying in the guest room, while we slowly introduce her and Imogene. For the first several hours she was most inclined to stay hiding underneath an end table, but if we pulled her out was quite affectionate and willing to sit on our laps. I was pretty proud once I finally opened the door to see her sitting on top of the end table!

She is gradually getting more and more comfortable with us and in the room. She still heads under the table sometimes, but we also find her hanging out on the bed. She's eating a ton! She went through a full bowl of dry food in one day that I think would have taken Imogene a few days to eat up, but she could use a bit more weight for sure. Even with her medium hair that makes her look fluffier than she really is, she still looks small. And she definitely feels very skinny, as shelter cats often do. 

Fierce hunter

By Monday evening she was even getting playful. Her favorite toy is our hands or feet, but she also likes hunting a particular fish-shaped, mouse-furred, feather-tailed toy.

Imogene isn't exactly thrilled with the new family member. She had one fit of hissing by the guest room door, but for the most part isn't acting as territorial or defensive as I expected. Rather, she just seems sad and confused. I feel so guilty! 

We tried feeding her a treat by the guest room door, but she refused to even stay by the door, despite loving that food. When she's downstairs she seems relatively normal, but overall is avoiding being upstairs (where the gust room is) at all. The next step we plan on trying is letting Hera explore the rest of the house while one of us hangs out with Imogene in Hera's room so she gets used to her scent.

Wedding Week

I tried to keep my wedding plans - the actual event, and the planning and lead-up to it - as laid back as possible. I was adamant that there was no need to take any time off work beforehand; I wouldn't take vacation days to prepare for hosting a mere dinner party or game night, would I? That was my bar for many wedding-related things, to make sure things didn't spiral out of control into bridezilladom - how does this compare to how I host a typical event? A wedding is on a much larger scale, of course, even for a small-ish wedding like ours with 90 attendees, which requires some adjustments, but overall, we wanted it to just be an extra-special game night like we always have - in other words, to be consistent with us. 

Now that the event is over, I still maintain that that was a reasonable sentiment (especially as I already have Fridays off from work during the summer, so I had two full days to prepare for the Sunday afternoon wedding) - however, the things I packed into the preceding week made it feel pretty hectic!

The Wednesday before was my first Toastmasters speech. This required some preparation and practice the preceding weekend, as well as meeting up with a friend Monday evening to practice. Wednesday night was dinner with Abe's family, including his uncle who was visiting for the wedding.

Thursday afternoon I had a massage (ok, a pretty typical pre-wedding event), followed that evening by something Abe and I have been talking about doing for months, maybe almost a year - a wine painting class! This is one of those studios where they instruct the class, step-by-step, on a particular painting, while you drink wine or beer. (Note: I somehow got the impression - although now I don't see this actually indicated on the website - that at least one beverage was included in the price of the class; it's not. The drinks are an additional charge. About the same price as you'd pay at a bar, but made the class fee feel like a bit less of a value. The class fee does include all the painting supplies, just not drinks.)

I really don't consider myself talented in this artistic genre, but they make it quite easy to follow along and create a painting that does indeed resemble the image it's based on. For "Broadway Stroll", we first made light outlines, where the black lines end up, then painted each section a solid color. Details were then added in layers, including the detail that I found most ingenious - each time we used a different color, as you reached the end of the paint on your brush, you swiped it lightly across the sidewalk to get the reflections! Seems totally obvious, but nothing I would have thought of and that's why I'm not a painter!

Friday was my chance to fit in most of my usual weekend training - two Hood to Coast runs, a medium-distance bike ride, and a swim.

Saturday included another standard pre-wedding activity - manicures and pedicures with my mom and sister. This actually the first time I've ever done either at a salon! And, pathetic though it might be, crosses something off my 30 Before 30 list! Purple on my toes to match my wedding dress, and a neutral shellac polish on my fingernails. 

I am certainly impressed with how well the shellac stands up! Two weeks later, it was still not chipped, even after clipping my nails. Not so impressed once I did some research and realized I had to basically soak my fingers in pure acetone to get it off. Fortunately, by this past weekend it had weakened up enough to peel it off, leaving only minor scratch marks on my nails (covered up in the meantime with a light glittery polish, since I'm not a fan of bright colors on my fingers, just on my toes).

My family also helped with some last minute prep on Saturday, such as cutting and ironing table runners. We had a "non-rehearsal dinner" with our immediate families, but no rehearsal as the wedding party was just us and our officiant.

Although I had been planning on doing a 5k together the morning of our wedding, I didn't feel ready to PR, nor had I gotten a chance to put together "bride" and "groom" t-shirts or anything in time, so we decided it wasn't really worth paying money just to workout. Instead, we did our currently-typical Sunday morning long bike ride, followed by a quick run for a brick workout. The  couple that trains for triathlons together, stays together, right?

Our wedding was on a Sunday afternoon - here's a peek at our photos! I'm totally impressed at how a professional photographer can make even candids look so pretty. :) We worked with Stephanie Kaloi (found via Offbeat Bride), who I would totally recommend! Affordable, great balance of friendly and professional, and timely in providing deliverables.

Photo by Stephanie Kaloi

Three Things Thursday: New Experiences

I'm a person who thrives on routine. I love the familiar. I can eat one dish for dinner 70% of the time for months on end. I can listen to one song on repeat for hours, for weeks at a time (I assure you that my college roommates loved me for that). 

I like to call this trait "loyalty". And while it does have some positives, it also has the downfall of keeping me from trying out new opportunities. There are times when, for the sake of my mental health, I feel I have to keep myself fenced in like that. 

But this year, I'm in a pretty good place, and I'm trying very hard to push myself to experience new things. That's why my goals for the year include trying new restaurants and new recipes. And just in the last month, I've stretched myself quite a bit: 

1. Re-learning how to swim and bike, and joining a triathlon team. Swimming has been fun; biking is a bit terrifying. I can feel new muscles in my body being worked for the first time, and I think I'm finally losing some weight without much deliberate effort. Interacting with team members and doing group workouts is something that doesn't come easily to me, but I know will be helpful both in terms of the sports and otherwise.

2. Joining Toastmasters. I've brought up the intent to join in my annual eval at work pretty much every year, but hadn't yet committed to it. I'd been to a couple meetings at different clubs - one was in the evenings, and out of the way once I moved a few years ago. Another was in a building that required going up to the host company's office, than being accompanied to the secured area where the conference room was - just a bit of pain.

Finally, after mentioning it yet again in this year's evaluation, I checked the available meetings again, and found a lunchtime one near by. It seems like a really great group of people, with a wide variety of ages. I'm actually looking forward to scheduling my first speech!

3. Learning to use TriMet public transit. Ok, this one might not seem like a big deal, but it's a new thing to me! I grew up in a little town with no public transport (nor any real need of it); and since then have lived in various suburbs of Portland. Technically TriMet reaches out to the suburbs, but in limited ways - for example, the area I work in only has buses, no lightrail, and only during a couple hours in the morning and evening for rush hour on weekdays. 

I finally live in an area a bit closer into downtown that's on the MAX (lightrail) line, though, and it's quite convenient to take into downtown Portland for evening or weekend activities. I'm still a bit nervous that I'll miss my stop or end up walking 5 miles around downtown trying to find where I'm going, but even after just a few trips I feel way more comfortable. And thank goodness I live in the era of smartphones for instant access to google maps!

Photo an Hour: Tax Season

I've been seeing these "photo an hour"-style day in the life posts making the rounds a lot lately, and enjoy reading them, so thought I'd join in (and combine it with a WIAW to be linked up next week). This is life during tax season - when I eat all three meals a day at my desk, and mostly just go home on weekdays to sleep, shower, and change clothes.

7 am: My alarm first goes off at 6:30 and I hit snooze a couple times, but am up and on my bike for a 20 minute ride by 7:00. 

8 am: Almost ready to leave. Feel like a bit of a bag lady with my running clothes and food for the day. I end up walking out the door about 8:15, and arrive at work at 8:30.

9 am: Checking emails, figuring out my priorities for the day. Finishing breakfast - my usual smoothie with spinach, banana, berries, peanut butter, flax seed.

Breakfast: 10 grams of protein, 3 fruits/veggies

10 am: Reviewing a return for an LLC that includes California. California's tax laws are obnoxious. You know how they basically think they're their own country, putting labels on products about the risk of cancer known to the state of California? Yeah, their tax rules are basically like that, too. 

Snow Day!

We've had a bit of snow here this weekend! Granted, it's nothing like other parts of the country have experienced, but it's a ton for us - I'd guesstimate 8 - 10 inches are outside my door at the moment. The last time we had anything like this was in 2008, when we had a few feet. Normally, even a dusting of snow that stays around for 24 hours is a rare occurrence. 

The snow started falling mid-day Thursday; I was nervous about driving home from work on the packed snow, but it wasn't too bad. Friday heading into work was also fine, but I got nervous when the snow started up again and ended up leaving around 3 (only about half the office was even there, and many of them left around noon). There was enough traffic on the freeway to have some bare spots and a lot of slush, but it was still pretty covered and slow-going.

I was even planning to go into work Saturday morning. The traffic cams showed I-5 with more accumulation though (and less traffic around to melt it), so I was a bit nervous (I just don't have the skills/experience to trust myself in very severe snow conditions). Then I went out to my car to leave - and there was at least 6 inches on it since the prior afternoon. Sweeping it off, I discovered a thick layer of ice underneath. Taking into account the snow drifts surrounding... I decided, never mind! I'm hoping that the rising temperatures tomorrow will create mere slush that will be safer and I can go in tomorrow for a while, but if not I'll just have extra long days next week to make up for it.

I did get out of the house for a bit though - we walked to Fred Meyer (about 3/4 of a mile away). Wasn't out of food entirely, but I needed to do some grocery shopping today or tomorrow, and had more time today. A bit chilly, of course, especially on the way back when the wind had started back up, but a fun adventure nonetheless! 

(The walk also gave me a chance to see I-5 in person (the route to the store went over an overpass) - and it was much more covered than the previous day, so I'm glad I didn't end up driving on it.)

Doctor Who Game Night Birthday Party

My standard party/get-together/method of entertaining is a game night. Which is always fun! But lately I've started mixing up the usual food (pizza, chips, veggies, hummus or dip, fruit, dessert) with some sort of theme. Last year, I did a "Margaret" theme (margaritas and margherita) for my birthday. This year, given that I'm entering the last year of a decade, I thought a timey wimey, Doctor Who theme would be appropriate.

Drinks

The Tenth Doctor's sonic screwdriver: Half ounce each of blood orange vodka and blue curacao. Fill half of the rest of the way with sprite/7-up, and the rest of the glass with sparkling water. (I first tried with just the sprite, but even my sweet tooth found it almost too sweet. Half and half for the sparkling liquids seemed to do the trick). [Inspiration]

The Eleventh Doctor's sonic screwdriver: Limeade. I figured one alcoholic drink was sufficient, so this was the best green drink I could think of.

Doctor (Who) Pepper: For anyone tired of citrus from the other drinks. At one point, Abe also mixed a drink with Dr. Pepper and blue curacao - it turned a beautiful deep green color!

Food

Lady Cassandra pizza: Dough, sauce, mozzarella cheese, sliced olives for eyes, and tomato slices for a mouth. [Inspiration] 

Bow ties are cool pasta salad: Farfalle pasta, tofu, chickpeas, and garlic vinaigrette. [Recipe]

I want chips: British chips, that is - fries. Sliced potatoes, olive oil, seasoning. Baked for about 45 minutes at 400 degrees. [Scene]

Tardis blue corn chips

Exploded Slitheen: Broccoli dip [Scene] [Recipe]

Always take a banana to a party [Scene]

Stupid old satsumas [Scene]

The best dessert in the universe: Nanaimo bars - these were in the freezer from Christmas time, and, well, they're delicious, so I found a way to fit them into the theme! [Recipe]

Adipose: Dandies vegan marshmallows, stuck together with a paste of powdered sugar and water, with the faces drawn on with black gel frosting. [Inspiration]

Fish sticks and custard: Sugar cookies (from purchased refrigerated dough, cut in half and rolled into fish stick shape), rolled in graham cracker crumbs for the "breading", with vanilla pudding. [Inspiration]

Fezzes are cool: Rolos. So either I was looking in the wrong place, or it's actually rare to find them in the red wrappers. I actually didn't find any, of any color, in the regular candy aisle. Instead I had to buy a bag of Valentine rolos in red, pink, and gold to get some red ones. [Inspiration]

It's Official!

The short story: there was no proposal, the wedding's in July, we're both going to keep our own names.

Our engagement rings have each other's fingerprints engraved

The long story: Abe and I have been discussing marriage as the direction in which we were heading for a while now. I don't believe in proposals, or any of the traditions associated with it (asking a woman's parents for her hand - or even for their blessing, a diamond ring, a ring worn only by the woman, etc.). 

I can't see it as anything but sexist for it to default to the man's choice to control when a couple plans to get married, and for the standard language to be that of the man asking the woman to marry him. That's not what it is. It's two people making a mutual decision to marry each other. If you argue that modern couples are making a joint decision even when they act out a conventional proposal, then they're acting out and giving a nod to a sexist tradition, allowing the decision to be trapped in antiquated language. Why choose to do that and call it romantic?

So we've been planning the wedding since we ordered our engagement rings in December, but decided to make it official and public on our anniversary, which is also my birthday, which was on Monday. We have the whole thing basically planned, and even put down a deposit on the venue last weekend. 

Despite some averse opinions to marriage and wedding traditions, and how they've evolved in our culture, I'm looking forward to celebrating with our loved ones and a lifetime with an amazing partner. :)

Three Things Thursday: What I Learned Last Weekend

1. The storyline of Evita. I knew the song "Don't Cry for Me Argentina", and thus that it had something to do with Argentina, but not really anything else. My friend Karey invited me to join her Sunday for the Broadway touring show of Evita, as it's one of her favorite musicals. I really enjoyed the music, and upon reading the synopsis in the program and doing some smartphone research during intermission, it's a really fascinating history. 

2. The game Tichu is really fun. I was hesitant, because it's a trick-taking game, which I usually find confusing (like pinochle). I definitely referenced the instructions a lot (especially for a couple of the special cards, two of which are similar in image and sort of similar in purpose), but after a couple rounds we all got the hang of it and enjoyed it! It involves some risk-taking to really gain the advantage (you can call "tichu" before playing any cards in a round, betting that you'll be the first one out - for huge points if you're right, and negative points if you're wrong), and that's also not usually my favorite thing - unless you take a risk and win big, which happened a couple times. :)

3. How to make a great salad: mix dressing with the toppings separately, and then add the toppings to the lettuce. Maybe everyone else in the world already does it like this? But Abe just showed me this (he's trying to help me increase my veggie intake), and it's revolutionary to me! Creates the perfect amount of flavor from the dressing without getting the lettuce soggy.

Lately

I'm so glad we're done with that week-long cold spell! I know 20 degree isn't really that cold, for many parts of the country, but around here, that's ridiculously cold, and we don't know how to handle it. Going for a run after work this week when it's a toasty 35 degrees has been great!

Imogene, though, isn't as thrilled. When it's in the 30 - 45 degree range outside, my apartment stays reasonably warm (by my standards) indoors, so I don't bother turning the heat on. Since it's no longer useful to lay underneath the heating vent, she's taken to cuddling up with the laptop cord.

I wasn't quite as lazy this past weekend as I was the previous one. I did a 5k race on Sunday morning. On Saturday I was even a little domestic, making a batch of beet dip since I'd gotten beets in my most recent produce box. I thought they were just normal red beets - they looked typical on the outside. But once I started peeling and cutting them, I found out they were candy cane beets! They don't really taste any different, but the usually-bright-fuchsia dip turned out a lovely shade of pink - lovely other than that all it reminds me of is an old-fashioned jello salad made with a red jello mixed with cottage cheese.

The most entertaining part of my weekend, though, was perhaps Sunday afternoon, when returning from grocery shopping, I saw a turkey walking around the apartment complex parking lot. Just hanging out. I saw him again this morning, running around (a running turkey is a quite amusing sight, FYI). Turns out Abe saw him a couple weeks ago, as well. One side of the complex does border a river bank/ravine sort of area, so I guess this guy must live in that natural area, and comes looking for food or something around the buildings? I don't know. I thought it was strange how many outdoor cats I saw wandering around, but this tops that.

Does anyone know how to tell whether a turkey is male or female? Any suggestions for a name to reference Mr./Ms. Turkey? My usual default is Bob, but somehow I don't think s/he looks like a Bob.

Choir Widow

Is that a thing? Like a sports widow. Although Abe is in various choirs and productions year-round, obviously the Christmas season is a popular one for performances. This past week he had: community choir rehearsal Tuesday and Thursday evening, church choir rehearsal Wednesday evening, community choir performances Friday and Saturday evening, and caroling performances Saturday and Sunday afternoon. I feel exhausted just looking at that schedule. 

Looks like next weekend will be more of the same. As an introvert, I'm certainly not opposed to the occasional weekend to myself (though we did get to have lunch together yesterday, in between caroling gigs). I took advantage of it to binge-watch a teenage soap opera on netflix (Secret Life of the American Teenager - Mayim Bialik had an entertaining recurring role in the second season), and basically do a lot of nothing. 

Source

I did manage a "long" run - 5.5 miles - on Saturday afternoon! I know 90% of the rest of the country is having this cold spell, too, but we're really not used to it here! The upcoming weather this week (40 degrees and raining) is much more typical of winter weather.

It was the warmest part of the day when I went out (early afternoon), and it was still only 27 degrees and windy. I was actually surprised I didn't feel colder than I did, once I got going. 


I don't really have any serious winter running clothes, but I finally found a pair of winter running pants that (1) come in petite length, and (2) aren't tapered tights. Of course, I still had to shorten the petite length by 1 1/2", but they're comfy and warm! On top, I only layered a short sleeve and long sleeve shirt, with gloves and a headband. Oddly, the only part that stayed cold was my stomach, even though I didn't need my gloves the whole time.

Yesterday I tried another run, in similar temps, but it was closer to dusk, and actually felt really chilly. A half mile in, I didn't feel like I was warming up at all, so I turned around and only did a single mile. I'd much rather snuggle up on the couch with Imogene and watch more tv. :)

How are you handling the cold weather? What temp is your cutoff for running outdoors?

New & Old Traditions

This year began the compromise of sharing holidays between my family and Abe's. What we're aiming to do is have Thanksgiving day with one family and Christmas day with the other one year, and flip which family gets the actual day the next year. 

We spent Thanksgiving at his grandparents' house, in a little town east of Eugene. To both contribute to the meal and bring in a little of my own family, I brought Nanaimo bars. Though more of a Christmas, than Thanksgiving, treat, it's still always worth sharing. (I'll share the recipe on here soon!) They had turkey and ham, but also a tofurkey - and I wasn't the only one eating it! Although I think I'm the only actual vegetarian in the group, Abe and many of his family members are flexitarians and are fairly infrequent with their meat-eating. 

After dinner, the boy cousins were sent off to play disc golf, while I learned how to play pinochle with his mom, sister, and aunt. My dad's side of my family used to play this, though it's been a while (I don't think anyone in my generation ever learned it). I think I now mostly get the how, but not necessarily the why - i.e., what the different melds are and how they're scored. It was nice to spend an entire day with his family. Since they live in the area, when we do see them it's just for a couple hours for a meal. Even though my parents live six hours away, Abe has gotten to know them better than I have his, since when we see them it's for an entire weekend or a few days at a time.

Friday I got to participate in my own family's traditional sort-of-Black Friday shopping. None of us like crowds, nor are we typically into the big-ticket items that are on sale, so we avoid the standard places. Goodwill is always on the itinerary, and we also went to Powell's. We considered going to Old Navy because it was in the same shopping complex. We only got one foot inside the door, saw the line for check-out of about 40 or 50 people (not exaggerating - and this wasn't early in the day, it was probably 4 pm by this point), and immediately walked back out. 

While we were together, we planned out a new thing for my dad's side of the family, with whom we'll be spending Christmas day this year. With the youngest cousin now out of college and married, there aren't currently any kids that create any obligation for gifts, and the number of relatives is increasing. We decided to draw names: luckily this year there are 5 in each immediate family, so we each drew one of them to give to, and one of each of us for them to give to. 

Saturday, while my parents were still in town, we started introducing the future-future-in-laws. We had lunch with my parents and sister and his mom and sister. Sunday continued the family theme as I attended a concert that Abe and his sister were in. They're part of a group of quartets that dresses in Dickens-era costumes and does caroling performances around the area.

Power Non-Suit

NaBloPoMo prompt: Describe an outfit that makes you feel good.

A white blazer, with a single button right under the bust and three-quarter length sleeves. It was just a touch too tight when I bought it (I should have bought a medium, but they only had a small or large in stock), but now fits perfectly. I found it on a shopping trip with a friend/co-worker (at the time, she's now changed jobs), who I'm pretty sure suggested the outing because she wanted to spruce up my work wardrobe without actually saying that it was a tad outdated/frumpy/ill-fitting. 

Under the blazer, a teal tank top, in a smooth, almost-but-not-quite shimmery knit fabric, with a cowl neck. It's odd, being large-chested I usually don't look good in that type of neckline, but somehow the drape of this one actually works for me. I believe this was purchased on the same shopping trip. If I recall correctly, she had to convince me to buy it, but it's become one of my favorite items.

Paired with black slacks on the bottom and cute but basic black heels. With my hair probably curled but half pulled back (because the curls won't last for more than a couple of hours), and a simple silver necklace.

This was my go-to outfit for about a year, that I always wore for client meetings. I'm sure my colleagues quickly figured out what it indicated. I've strayed away from it recently, only because there are many clients that I routinely see on an annual basis, and I don't want them to see me in the same thing every year!

Renewing Permanence

The other day, the topic of wedding ceremonies came up, specifically having multiple ceremonies (for example, a destination one plus a local one that more people can attend). I really dislike that idea -  it doesn't mean anything, you can only get married once (maybe twice if one is civil and one is religious - but most of the double weddings I've read about weren't religious, it was just about the desire to have a fancy ceremony after needing to do the legal ceremony earlier). It's no more than a reenactment or playing pretend. 

(Please don't take offense if that's something you've done! I'm sure there are reasons that make sense to the people involved - I just can't grasp the idea of doing it myself - doing a second ceremony wouldn't hold any meaning to me.)

Same with vow renewals - you vowed to do something for the rest of your life, what's the point of renewing it, promising to the same thing for the rest of your life that you already promised? I can kind of get into the idea for milestone anniversaries - for example, Abe's grandparents did a vow renewal recently for their 70th (!) anniversary. But if it's just a few years, or even a few months down the road? No. I just don't get it.

Abe suggested that it's about renewing something that fades over time. For example, you might get a tattoo re-inked because it has faded over the years. Or recommit to your faith. I countered that yes, you may be making an official step towards renewing something that was intended to be permanent, but it's not done with the same fanfare as the original, nor does it take as much work or commitment to renew as the original did. 

I assume re-inking a tattoo takes much less time, and you don't have to plan out the design and do an outline and fill it in - you just re-do the fill color. And although you may recommit your faith, you aren't re-baptized, or publicly reaffirm it in the church (as far as I'm aware in any Christian variations), it's just a quiet, personal confirmation of your previous decision. Similarly, even though, of course, your commitment to the marriage may "fade", in the sense that the strength of the relationship will ebb and flow over the years, why should recommitting to it take the same form as the original commitment? It's simply not the same thing. 

Granted, I also don't really get the appeal of ceremonies in general. I guess it's that for me it has to hold a lot of significant meaning to be worthwhile, and I often fail to see what makes a particular ceremony worthwhile. For example, I didn't participate in my undergrad graduation ceremony, because it didn't seem like something worth celebrating, as an accomplishment. Sure, there were some aspects of the journey that were difficult, but growing up it was drilled in me that I would go to college, there was never ever any doubt in my mind that I would graduate. Why spend the time celebrating and ceremonizing something that was just a given? 

I also am not planning on attending a graduation ceremony for my graduate degree - I finished the degree last summer, but the school only holds a commencement ceremony one a year after the spring term. I do see this as more of a ceremony-worth accomplishment, but the timing is off, and becomes unconnected with the event. I had the option of attending the ceremony last spring, prior to when I had completed my final class - but that seemed pointless, there isn't anything to celebrate yet! What if things go wrong and I don't finish? Or I could participate in the ceremony this upcoming spring. But then it's practically a year later. I'd rather celebrate in my own way now, than participate in the prescribed ritual when I've moved past it.

What do you think about ceremonies and rituals? Can they hold meaning for you even if repeated?

Unproductive

NaBloPoMo prompt: How much of the day are you plugged in? Do you consciously set aside offline time, or does it happen whenever it happens?

Oh, geez. You previously saw where I spend a ton of time after work; this is where I spend time at work:

So, basically, all day and evening is spent sitting in front of computer. Of course while at work I'm using the computer for work, but it does make it very easy to spend breaks dinking around on facebook and blogs, rather than putting the time to better use by socializing or exercising.

There are occasional days where I happen to not spend much of my free time online; for example the two days that I haven't posted this month for NaBloPoMo are because I was spending the day with Abe, and didn't want to take away from that to spend time on my computer.

It do realize it would be useful in many ways to deliberately limit my online time. Last night I was thinking about this and tried to stay productive and busy for most of the evening - went to the gym and read while riding the stationary bike, sorted through items previously set aside to donate, etc. I still had time to take care of minor daily chores such as running the dishwasher, but it didn't feel like such a rush to fit in those chores, as it often does when I've spent the whole evening being very unproductive and just trying to do something worthwhile before going to bed. I felt better, got things done, and didn't eat as much crap.

As I Write Friday's Post on Saturday...

NaBloPoMo prompt: If you could quit one bad habit instantly without difficulty, which would it be?

My process for writing posts this month based on the NaBloPoMo prompts has to been to look at the list each weekend, start five posts for the upcoming week by typing in the prompt, and titling it with the day of the week it's for. I'll look at them again sometime during the week to remind myself what they are and start thinking about them, and then actually write each post on the indicated day.

I thought about this prompt a few times during the week, including yesterday (Friday), the day the prompt was for. There are certainly things I do that I don't really like, but I was having a hard time coming with one that was merely a "bad habit", and not either something I justify the heck out of doing, or that is based on some deep-seated anxiety that I'd rather not get into right now.

However, as I sat down on Saturday morning, determined to actually write Friday's post, it was obvious. The habit I would like to drop is procrastination of tasks, usually when the task is something I am anxious about or otherwise having a hard time focusing on. 

It's actually sometimes difficult for me to acknowledge that I'm even doing this. When I was in college, my roommate Tiffany and I were both prone to procrastinate, as college students tend to do. However, the way Tiffany would procrastinate was to completely avoid the assignment until absolutely necessary. I was able to feel like a better student because I had my word document open, all ready to start type a paper. I probably even added the heading and title right away. 

Then, keeping the barely-started paper document open - cause I was obviously currently working on it, not procrastinating - I would open internet browsers, spend time reading websites and forums, occasionally flipping back to the paper and writing a few sentences at a time. So Tiffany and I would end up finishing our assignments at about the same time. Only I had spent the entire evening pretending to work on, all the while stressing out about how long it was taking me. She, on the other hand, had enjoyed most of her evening, and then chosen to settle in and focus on it and get it done quick.

Even as I opened this post to write it, I also opened up all of the blog posts in my reader that I haven't read since yesterday afternoon, and facebook, and gmail, etc. Although procrastination, to some degree, is probably just a fact of life, the way I handle procrastination isn't useful to my stress and anxiety levels. Being able to focus on doing other things or on the required task at hand, instead of pretending to focus but really being all over the place, would probably do wonders for my mental health.

Night Owl Part 2

NaBloPoMo prompt: Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Well, as evidenced by yesterday's post, I'm definitely a night owl. Apparently I've always been that way; my parents have stories of me as a toddler, staying up and watching late night TV with my date because I wouldn't go to sleep. My favorite time at the end of each school year was asking my parents what my later bedtime was for the summer.

It's interesting, because my parents are the opposite, going to bed around 9 or 9:30. For a long time, I viewed that not as part of their personalities, but as part of being an "adult". Adults go to bed early and get up early. I felt like staying up until midnight and not going into work until 9 am meant that I wasn't acting mature or responsible. There are still times when some aspects of life might be easier if I could get on a different schedule, but really, this is what comes naturally, and I'm learning to accept that there's nothing wrong with that.