Tuesday, January 28, 2014

It's Official!

The short story: there was no proposal, the wedding's in July, we're both going to keep our own names.


Our engagement rings have each other's fingerprints engraved

The long story: Abe and I have been discussing marriage as the direction in which we were heading for a while now. I don't believe in proposals, or any of the traditions associated with it (asking a woman's parents for her hand - or even for their blessing, a diamond ring, a ring worn only by the woman, etc.). 

I can't see it as anything but sexist for it to default to the man's choice to control when a couple plans to get married, and for the standard language to be that of the man asking the woman to marry him. That's not what it is. It's two people making a mutual decision to marry each other. If you argue that modern couples are making a joint decision even when they act out a conventional proposal, then they're acting out and giving a nod to a sexist tradition, allowing the decision to be trapped in antiquated language. Why choose to do that and call it romantic?

So we've been planning the wedding since we ordered our engagement rings in December, but decided to make it official and public on our anniversary, which is also my birthday, which was on Monday. We have the whole thing basically planned, and even put down a deposit on the venue last weekend. 

Despite some averse opinions to marriage and wedding traditions, and how they've evolved in our culture, I'm looking forward to celebrating with our loved ones and a lifetime with an amazing partner. :)

8 comments:

  1. I wish you the very best! Congratulations on this next step of your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Congratulations! And I love everything about this post. Everything.

    Bonus: both keeping your names doesn't involve any paperwork! I hate paperwork and was happy to avoid all of that. That right there was reason enough for me to keep my name as is.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congratulations! Also I love those rings- such a lovely idea given the unique-ness of fingerprints :)

    ReplyDelete

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